Best Asperger Hacks for People Who Have it (Or Not)

People with Aspergers get mostly useless training and advice because neurotypicals tell people with Aspergers how to learn to pass for neurotypical. This course will assure you that you will never need to learn to eat in a school cafeteria, do team-building at work, or go to a loud party in scratchy clothes.

What people with Aspergers do need to learn how to do is not get fired, not get divorced, and not scream at their kids. I could tell you that the key to doing all this is to stop talking. But that wouldn’t make sense to you.

This course is the four-day version of that one sentence. I have coached hundreds of people with Aspergers, and I have Aspergers myself, and so do most of my family members. I know what I’m talking about.

You will get to avoid all the BS about how kids will thrive and how adults will find fulfillment. You do not need to be told that fulfillment is staying at home with someone you love—who doesn’t make you switch tasks.

So instead we’ll talk about how to avoid the bad advice we get about how to succeed with Aspergers. And I’ll tell you what I see working. I’ll tell you how to get the right medicine from your doctor. I’ll tell you how to diagnose your parents. I’ll tell you how to cheat on tests because if you have Aspergers, cheating is a more important skill than studying.

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This course starts on Tuesday, October 22

Duration:  Four days

Best Asperger Hacks for People Who Have it (Or Not)

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Instructor

Penelope Trunk

Penelope Trunk has founded four startups. Currently she is CEO of Quistic. Penelope has published business advice in more than 200 newspapers and Inc. magazine called Penelope “the world’s most influential career coach.”

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This webinar will start on Tuesday, October 22

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Schedule

Day one: everything you've been told is wrong

Did you know that 90% of women with Aspergers are not diagnosed? This is because the medical community has no idea what they're doing. And the result is that most of the research about Aspergers is understated because half the people who would have been a yes—for any type of research—are a no.

I'll tell you what this means for people with Aspergers and how you can leverage the research that is just coming out to make better decisions about treatment. Here's just one thing you'll find out: Most prodigies have Aspergers. See? No one reports this stuff. You have to get it from me.

Day Two: How to stay employed and stay married

Adults with Aspergers are happy if they love their spouse and their spouse loves them. And they are not stuck on philosophizing about what the word love means.

So the most important skill for someone with Aspergers is to stay married. I will give you hard and fast rules to guide you in picking a spouse. For example, if you pick someone with Aspergers one of you needs a trust fund. And women with Aspergers are the most likely candidate to be engaged to a sociopath.

If you are already married, I'll show you how to look like you function as a normal adult without really doing it. And I'll tell you the three signs that the person with Aspergers is destroying the marriage and needs to be contained.

And I'll show you how you will stay employed if you use the same rules at work for staying married at home.

Day Three: Introduction to the world of paid friends

The reason you don't need socializing in childhood is that you can buy friends. Neurotypicals cannot do this, because they want so much in a friendship. People with Aspergers are more practical.

I have been buying friends my whole life. I'll tell you the types of friends you can buy for home and which you buy for work. And I'll show you how to tell which problems you can solve with a paid friend. And how to get a real friend if the circumstance demands it.

Day Four: Q & A with Me and You

Ask me anything and I'll give you a longer answer than you need until my co-host tells me to shut up. We learn through example.

Tell me you don't have Aspergers and I'll decide for myself and then tell you why I'm right. And then I'll tell you that I know you have Aspergers because you want to be right as much as I want to be right. And wanting to be right is a neurological tic that makes people want to strangle us.

Figuratively.